Anonymous asked: I see you tweet with a lot of #BBBH dudes. You play raw?
Nope, I do not.
Posted my face over to Reddit in a few spots…
http://goo.gl/2bnFE | http://goo.gl/w0Zf5 | http://goo.gl/Ek7RQ
Anonymous asked: Hey, I'm military, planning to spend my 21st in San Francisco, been in the bay area alot when I got the chance to take out leave. Anyways, I've always been interested in steamworks, but I'm new to being out in the open, as well as really nervous about my 'cruising skills' haha, as far as places like that go. I prefer twinks, I'm a top, but, like I said, my confidence falters when I'm in any kind of public thing beyond one on one interaction. Any advice? Things you can say about steamworks?
All my top tips and Steamworks advice lives here. Enjoy!
We all have our tastes, and we all have our preferences. I’ve met very very very few people who are into either everyone, or a super-wide-range of people, sexually. If most people were into everyone else, everyone would be getting laid a LOT more and people would be a LOT less frustrated.
However, most of us have people we’re into, people we aren’t. While we might not have as many hard-and-fast rules like the ones above (or we might have even more of them) it doesn’t change the fact that what arouses us generally is rather locked in place. If any shift occurs (which, often, it does not) it does so very slowly over time; we can’t just think “ooh, I’m going to be turned on by X now!” and suddenly POOF we’re all a flutter about a guy we never found sexually attractive 10 minutes prior.
Yet, when individuals contact one another in a bar, on a website / app, at a coffee house, etc, we can generally tell either by a first glance, photo, their profile information, the way we were contacted, or initial communications whether or not we’re interested in them. That’s not being prejudice, racist, rude, or cruel; it’s just simple human nature and knowing what does / doesn’t arouse us.
We’re experts at knowing what arouses us. Absolute experts. Studies show that almost all of us evaluate sexual interests all day long, nearly every day of our lives. We’re the kings of knowing what will, and won’t, get our motor running. So when we make a short and quick judgement about what we likely would find sexually acceptable, we’re generally on-point for our personal tastes. I know many men (including myself) have attempted to go against those ‘gut reactions’ only to find myself disappointed and unsatisfied (if not repulsed) in nearly all instances. Usually our gut, based on past experience with both in person interactions and media consumption, is spot on.
It’s entirely acceptable by society to turn someone away at a bar, coffee house, or online (politely, of course) because you aren’t turned on by them (for one, or more, reasons). Granted, generally we don’t say (unless asked) the reason(s) why we are rebuking their affections, but we still turn people down. Yet, it’s surprisingly NOT okay to be polite yet honest in profile text before people contact you. This, frankly, makes me very frustrated.
I don’t think it’s prejudice, racist, rude, or cruel to honestly politely write in a profile “sorry guys, X, Y, and Z are a no-go for me.” After all, dating & sexuality isn’t about just being friends with someone of a different weight, skin color, or age as you… this is about aesthetic sensations and sexual arousal. A beast that is much more personal and, while society tries to influence it, our sexual tastes ultimately are up to us to explore, test against, and discover on our own.
If we take a step back, we acknowledge that we do this for nearly all other aspects of our lives that we consume or customize (food, music, video games, movies, tv, weather, jobs, clothing, hair, electronics, art, etc). Further, when we do, our responses of disinterest are usually met with zero resistance. Sure, occasionally someone says “maybe you just had a bad Thai restaurant, you should try my favorite place, it’s rated really high on Zagat,” but usually we get people saying “oh, okay, cool” and it’s dropped; we’re not belittled or bullied (beyond perhaps a friend making a joke) simply because our personal tastes don’t match someone else’s.
However, I know many, Many, MANY people who have come down on others simply because that person openly said (rather than 1 on 1 in a private interaction via chat, etc) “sorry guys, X, Y, and Z are a no-go for me.” When I see situations like this, all I see is an individual who is saving themselves time and frustration from having to potentially turn down individuals, and saving others time by laying out what they find sexually interesting. Yet, those upfront people are trashed and called prejudice, racist, rude, or cruel.
People scratch their heads and wonder why dating culture and experiences are broken on a societal level, and why it’s so hard to just find someone you like, who likes you back…
But if we continue the aforementioned behavior of “don’t openly admit to who you find sexually attractive” we are, therein, building a societal model where we falsely require everyone to pretend like everyone is potentially sexually interested in them by denying people the ability to be honest about their desires. As a society we are undermining the very foundation of honesty and truth in our dating and sexual cultures by belittling those who are simply broadcasting their desires, rather than keeping them secret and having to restate them every time a lack of a match occurs.
Sorry for the wall of text, clearly this is a hot button issue for me ;-) I wish society valued honesty more than it gives it lip service for.
Anonymous asked: I think I'm polyamorous. Whenever I date a guy I always feel a deep connection to them but I can't stop thinking of other guys. How do I "come out" as polyamorous and find others that I'm attracted to that are also polyamorous?
Tell people you are poly when you go on dates or even when you first meet online, and look for other poly guys on poly dating sites :-)
You’re not racist if your cock doesn’t get hard for all men equally, just like you’re not sexist if your cock doesn’t get hard for girls.
Treat everyone nicely, even those you don’t want to bone… but don’t let assholes bring you down because you won’t fuck them.
Anonymous asked: I love fucking drag queens and fems,But love being a bottom to Muscle big men and totaly being their bottom service boy is this common?
Totally common, from what I’ve found in my friend’s experiences!
Anonymous asked: Thanks to the reply once again. I am just curious if you ever play with asians? I am one myself slim skinny, smooth, hairless below and prefer to bottom. I do top occasionally and I do a pretty good job if I did top. I definitely look forward to a chance to have a go with you. The other question would be if you shaved, trim, wax or any other treatments to the hairs below? What are your opinions on them? I always fancy smooth but can't be bothered to plug them every two weeks. Cheers mate.
I’m not flat-out against having sex with any type of man, but I have not had a history of playing with more than a few asian men in the course of my life ;-)
Anonymous asked: Hey David, Thanks to your responds about handsfree cumming. I was jut wondering if you ever did visit Singapore or Australia?
Never have :-)
Anonymous asked: Hey I just bought a raw dawg from FT and I love the material. It feels amazing as jackoff sleeve. My question is how do you get it in your ass? Like whats the best way to insert it. Thanks
Either I loosen up with a dildo first, and slide it in (after a few flippy-floppy tries) or I just put it over a dildo and put it in that way ;-)
Anonymous asked: What are Thursdays like at Steamworks? How dark is it and how do you navigate around without lights? It seems like it's plenty dark on a normal night. Is the hot tub area the same, or do they dim the lights there as well? And how do the crowds compare vs. the weekend? Thanks.
The lights don’t go out, and they give you a free mini-LED flashlight when you arrive to help see. The whole club’s lights are dimmed (except the locker rooms & gym) but it’s still pretty easy to move around. The crowd on Thursday is bested only by Friday and Saturday, so I’d say you should go check it out!
Anonymous asked: How do you start a bukkake scene at steam works?
Easy: you ask guys if they want to do a bukkake scene.
Anonymous asked: How much time and money do you spend at steamworks? Is it worth the price?
I go about once a week or so, and therefore YES! It’s totally worth it!
Anonymous asked: Hey I find it interesting reading your blog and the pictures you posted. I am quite a big fan of fort troff. I bought the ass plug tunnel small from them. It is amazing. Well, I wanted to ask if you ever use poppers to enhance your sexual life experience? How does it make you feel or what are you opinions on them? Another thing I did wish to try is to get fucked till I cum without touching my own cock. I tried so many times and would still require my hands. Have you ever experienced it yourself?
I do not use poppers and have never experienced a hands-free orgasm.
Anonymous asked: I just went to steamworks and I'm freaking out that I might have caught something. I only had a dick in my mouth for 4 seconds and when I went to the glory hole room, the other guy put my dick in his ass. It took me 3 seconds to figure it out and I took it out immediately. Should I worry? I don't think I have anything to worry about.
I am not a doctor, so always take that into account.
While the likelyhood of you having caught something is pretty rare, I’d still continue to use condoms with all partners until you’ve been tested for HIV & STDs and come back with clear results (meaning a 6 month window for HIV).